Hi again:)
Well tonight I think I'm feeling a little mushy. Yup, mushy.  I guess i should let y'all know that I really am not the she devil man hating bitch that I sound like, lol...au contraire!  I really like, no love men.  Had one for a father, and grandfather, and uncle, and son.  They rock!  I am in awe of them.  Guess the problem is I just dont fucking get it!  I think I understand them, and then, BAM, no comprendo...at all.
Here's where my problem starts......we meet, we date, its good(isn't it)??? We are seeing each other quite frequently.   You seem so happy to be with me.  Your face lights up when you see me.  Am I feeling this or making it up?  Do I dare ask you?  NOoooooo. That might be too pushy, too needy, too fucking real for you!.  Are you with me?  Do you see where I'm coming from?  Let me embellish.

First let me tell you what I feel.  I feel warmth, protection, sex, happiness, laughter, liberation, abandon, giggles,depth.  I'm feeling this from you, sweety.  We are at that point where we both decide its time...time for all the walls to COME tumbling down, and I do mean down.  We are hungry for each other....its good, real good.  Its good twice.  OK baby, its "amazing"...you tell me.  You never felt like this.  You hold my face in your hands and look into my eyes, down into my soul, and say those words to me.  My toes are curling, I can't stop smiling...I like you.  Yes, I really do.  You like me too.  You told me so.  We lie in each others arms smiling, kissing, all tangled up in skin.  We never want to get up.  The magic word here is WE.  Not just ME...WE.  Get the picture?

You leave, I walk you to the car...we're wrapped around each other still damp with each others sex.  Bye!  Talk to ya!  See ya!  Walking back to my house, I have such a sinking feeling in my heart.  I must be soooo messed up.  Whats wrong with me?  Stop.  Call Loren, she'll figure it out.  So, here I go calling the bff.  She quells my fears, and tells me to stop.  He'll call you tomorrow, get to bed.  OK.  Tomorrow comes, so does the next day.  My heart hurts:(  OMG..are you kidding me?  This is where I loose it.  Someone explain to me what the fuck happened?  Wasn't the first date, we waited for some time, enough time.  Got to know each other, went out, met the family.....

So this, my friends is my question....mainly directed to you guys.  Whats going on? I am not the only one here feeling like this.  I have friends, lots of em, feeling the same way..Every shape, color and nationality.  So it cant be that!